normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

Facebook Crystal Healer Antivax Mom VS 4chan Gnostic Cum Sorcerer VS White Voodoo Neo-pagan Death Witch VS Tiktok reality shifter energy worker

Magic only, free-for-all. Terrain is a wizard tower like the one from lord of the rings.

Who wins?

Crystal Mom: Low offense but high defense. Crystals can deflect spells and heal ANY wound if she has time. Relegated to hitting things with rose quartz. Highly infectious.

Cum Sorcerer: Glass cannon. Can call powerful spirits for help but limited by how fast he can nut. May not have the focus to control them. Physically weak from posting all day.

White Neo-pagan: Wild card. Stealthy from stealing human bones. Tries to invoke gods that aren’t hers but generally bad at magic and liable to do just enough damage to herself.

Tiktok Shifter: Flexible. Can enter altered states to avoid metaphysical damage, but can’t cast offensive spells while shifting. Can shift to ask the real Solid Snake for tactical advice. Vulnerable period between shifts to chug 5hour energy.

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21. beetle-punk said: The crystal mom. She’s basically a biohazard and gave everyone else polio
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    Facebook Crystal Healer Antivax Mom VS 4chan Gnostic Cum Sorcerer VS White Voodoo Neo-pagan Death Witch VS Tiktok...

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